An Open Letter to Men Regarding Women's Body Image

I'm going to be up front with you here.  This is a series of letters of honest observation of the world around me, whether that be social media, mainstream media, big-stream stores, or the high school across the street from me.  It is not meant to condemn or offend, but perhaps open an honest conversation about the lack of modesty and what influences our view of what a woman should look like.

The other letters in this series:

An Open Letter to Mothers Regarding Body Image
An Open Letter to Young Women and Teen Girls Regarding Body Image

To Husbands, Boyfriends, Men in General

Men.  Let's be honest.  You may have read all the other letters on modesty linked above out of curiosity.  If not, I will let you in on a secret.  I spoke of porn.  That is such a bad word in our society, but it's not because people necessarily think its that bad.  I've seen it excused as normal, even justified many times in the media.  Just because it is easier to give in and and look at scantly-clad, fake women, doesn't mean it's normal or what you should do.

The porn industry influences so much.  From Carl's Jr. commercials, to Victoria Secret ads, to more sex scenes on TV, to the fitness industry.  You know what I am talking about.  These are not real women.  You can't have real relationships with these women and you can't expect women in your relationships to be like that.  If you are looking at porn, please STOP!!!

Source: fightthenewdrug.org

Research shows that viewing porn contributes to objectifying woman and diminishing real sexual and physical relationships.  I've known boys who have grown into men with the addiction of porn.  These men get married.  Their addiction is not addressed.  It seems normal to them.  Then, their marriage starts to fall apart.  To quote FightTheNewDrug.org, "Porn kills Love."  These men loved their wives at one point.  Maybe they would even say they loved their wives after their families were torn apart by divorce.  But, they let their addiction to porn reign over their wife, their family, their relationships...their life.

Perhaps you think you have control and only look at it every once in a while.  I encourage you that you don't have control.  Control is NEVER giving in.  It may take a lot of praying, fighting temptation, and asking to be held accountable by loved ones, but there are ways you can make sure you never give in.  It is possible.  So, if you find yourself looking at porn, even every now and then, do yourself a favor, your wife, or future wife a favor and stop.  Don't kid yourself into thinking it's normal or okay.  It can prevent you from having a real relationship, or it can really skew your view of what your real relationship should look like.  It is not worth giving in.

So with that, I want to encourage husbands and fathers. Love your wives, no matter how much weight she has gained since you said "I do," or how much she has put on since having kids.  Love her no matter how much her body may change after having babies.  Love her where she is at and encourage her.   Don't compare her to the porn-influenced media ideas of how a woman should look.  Don't expect her to get back to exactly as she was before kids.  It probably won't happen.  And that's ok.  Having kids has changed the both of you for the better.

Encourage your wife to be woman you want your kids to look up to, to watch as they grow. Please, don't encourage them unnecessary and unnaturally change their bodies to look like what everyone else thinks a woman's body should look like.  She is the mother of your children.  Those children watch everything.  Aging is normal and can be beautiful.  There is so much pressure on women coming from practically every direction to look a certain way.  Be your wife's haven from all of that.

Sincerely,

The Woman who Became a Wife and Mother

P.S.  If you find yourself falling into the temptation of viewing porn, PLEASE GET HELP HERE.

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

Ephesians 5:25-33 ESV

FREE Fitness Blender Jump Rope Workout

Every once in a while, I come across people who are doing exactly what I would want to do if given oppurtunity.  Daniel and Kelli at FitnessBlender.com are doing just that.  The married couple is taking on the fitness world in a way that most don't:  They are making their workouts available for FREE.  There is no catch.  Everything at FitnessBlender.com is run on donations.  What an awesome gift to give people!  I am so glad someone is doing this!  I am a true believer in the fact that fitness shouldn't cost, or at least it shouldn't cost much.  

Kelli does the workouts in a garage-turned-studo and they edit them in their home office.  The result is professional workout videos that are very easy to follow.  I recently bought my kids jump ropes, and because of my lack of height, I realized those jump ropes were actually the perfect length for me!  Ergo, my inspiration to find a good jump rope workout!  I had to look no further than FitnessBlender.com.  

I completed the workout and was covered in sweat.  It was only 6 minutes (aside from warm up and cool down), but extremely intense.  This workout challenged my coordination as well!  The kids enjoyed seeing their mommy jump rope!  Do you have a jump rope handy?  If you are around 5'2" like me, you most likely can use your kid's jump rope!  Try this workout and let me know how it goes.   (This particular workout is not for those with lower back, hip, or knee pain or problems.) 

Visit Fitness Blender's You Tube Channel to get access to all their FREE videos!  They have over 400 workouts for every fitness need and level!  They can be an unbelievable blessing to the everyday person who cannot afford $50+ workouts!  And by the way, they didn't pay me to say any of this!  I just want to spread the news of how good FREE fitness can be!

Pinterest Fitness Day 16: Widdle Your Middle

I love to do a variety of abdominal exercises to keep my middle widdled.  Doing just crunches and sit-ups doesn't cover all of your abdominal muscles.  Through Pinterest, I found that Fitness magazine has an arrangement of ab exercises that give you the variety your abs need.  You can find that workout HERE.  I did the exercise 3 times through, with the reps that Fitness Magazine suggested.  Fitness Magazine is a great resource for exercises and nutrition, as well as motivational articles from people who lost weight or achieved their fitness goals.  I get one in the mail every month and look forward to it!  The website is just as resourceful! 

Pinterest Fitness Day 9: AR Fitness Abs and Arms

About a year ago, I started following Amanda Russell of AR Fitness on Pinterest.  She posts free workout videos, most of them under 20 minutes, on YouTube.  I like her.  She doesn't workout with shoes most of the time (which feels wonderful to me!) and she seems down to earth and comfortable with herself.  I've found that a good amount of women who are trainers and or competitors, are really into the way they look.  Why wouldn't they be?  I mean it's their business to look that way, right?  Well, it may be just be my opinion, and that's it, but I find a lot of these women tend to *ahem* enhance a certain part of their body.  Then they model it in bras a few sizes too small.  Or their websites are focused around a provocative theme. What does this say?  To be fit is all about being sexy or attracting others with your not-so-natural enhancement?  I would hope not!  At least not for me!

So, back to Amanda Russell.  She is a Canadian who came to America on a running scholarship with the hopes of Olympics.  She got a really bad injury and the doctors said she may never run again.  She set out on a journey that would prove them wrong.  She ran and won races and started a fitness company.  You know why I like about her?  She is just herself.  She isn't trying too hard.  She isn't adding things to her body or showing off too much of it.  She is always smiling.  She dresses up for themed workouts.  She's fun.   Check her out.

Find her on the web: http://amanda-russell.com

Find her workouts on Pinterest:  http://pinterest.com/arfit/

And, finally, below are the workouts I did today!

Vote for my photo, please!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=357689180994937&set=a.357689117661610.78200.264532750310581&type=1&theater

The above link is a link to my photo in a before/after photo contest.  I'm running up against a few trainers/ fitness club owners who have a fan base, so you voting for me may help me win a really awesome fitness prize!!!  Click on the link above, then click "like" on my photo. Thanks!

This is IT!

Man alive! I suppose I have neglected this blog! I am happy to say that I didn't neglect my fitness during this last pregnancy, though. I only gained 19 lbs during pregnancy. Minus the weight that I still am carrying from nursing (they say 2-5 lbs), I am pretty much back to my pre-pregnancy weight and have been for 6 weeks now. Isn't that awesome????

My goal now is to get back to my pre-pre-pregnancy weight, in other words, before Jackson! The scale has been stuck since I weighed in 6 weeks ago. It stays between 157 lbs and 159 lbs. I am eating fairly decent. But, I know my body and I know I need to get moving in order to loose this weight. So hear I go, starting a new program. this time, I am going to start the Winsor Pilates fat-burning program ("Win in 10"). I bought the program a few years ago and used the DVD, but not the entire program. So, here's to trying something new!

So, I weighed in this morning at 158 lbs. I will be taking "before," "during," and "after" pictures. Here are my not-so-flattering "before" pictures:

I will update every week with a weigh-in and a new set of "during" pictures.

Geen Tea Me!

Photo taken by Lekyu.

Recently I decided to drink a cup of Green Tea. The teabags had been sitting in my kitchen for a year. I gave the tea a try because I kept reading about the benefits this tea has. It has been known to help fight the growth of cancer cells, helps reduce cholesterol, specifically raising your good cholesterol (HDL) and lowing levels of your bad cholesterol (LDL), and it helps with dieting (it helps burn more calories). With the whole dieting thing, I was a bit skeptical. However, I read that part of the "help" comes from the caffeine that the tea provides. It contains less caffeine than coffee, but enough to keep you going. I don't like coffee, but sometimes I just need a kick in the rear end to get me going. So, I tried the tea that had been left neglected for a year. I was pleasantly surprised by a couple things. I love the taste. I don't have to add any sugar or sweetener because it is naturally sweet. It also gives me a refreshed feeling in the morning, and a relaxed feeling at night (when drinking the decaf version). Aside from giving me a energy boost, it also fills me up when I drink it with a meal. That is because I am drinking more liquid with a meal. The bottom line? Those who haven't tried a cup of green tea, should...it is too sweet of a deal to pass up!

By the way, there are a lot more benefits than I listed. To read about them, click here.

Exercise Accountability

I must say that it is sooo hard to find time to exercise with the baby! That is no excuse, though! I recently signed up with a great website called Babyfit.com that allows me to record everything I eat and it calculates all the nutrients for you. It also allows me to record my exercise. I've also sent out an email asking for girls to join me in the effort to exercise. Its good to have someone to do it with! I need accountability!