She Dresses Herself with Strength

How many have read Proverbs 31 and have been inspired by the woman who has become one of the main role models for Christian women?  I have.  Although, I would have to admit, I also become intimidated by all the things she does. I have to remember I can't do anything without the strength of God.  I must remember that I will fail no matter how hard I try, but God gives grace, and I must give myself grace too.

With that in mind, I'm going to focus on the two verses that jumped off the pages this morning as I was reading Proverbs 31.  The other day, while considering moving a full sized deep freezer on my own, I realized that I have the physical strength to do that, and I was reminded of the purpose of strength and how easily swayed we are from that due to vanity.

The first verse that jumped out at me in Proverbs 31 was in the middle of the passage explaining the woman's physical work that she did for her family.  Proverbs 31:17 says,

"She dresses herself with strength

and makes her arms strong."(ESV)

In context, the passage is speaking of this women, this wife, buying fields and planting them.  When it says "dresses herself" it actually is referring to "girding her loins," which is what they had to do to prepare for physical activity.  They wore long robes and had to tie them up.  This supports the view of getting fit for the purpose of functional fitness---being able to have to strength to carry out everyday activity.  And, if you need to move a freezer or a wood pile, you have the strength to do that as well.  This is actually quite inspiring!  The value of a woman's strength is in the Bible!  It is good for a woman to be strong.  It is good for her to have strength to do the things she needs to do in order to take care of her family and household!  

Contrary to this functional fitness, I see a lot of woman who seem to be fit for vanity's sake.   Proverbs 31:30 says, 

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." (ESV)

What exactly is vanity?  The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as, "the quality of people who have too much pride in their own appearance, abilities, achievements, etc. : the quality of being vain."How can we take pride in our strength, yet not become vain?  The answer is simply giving the glory to God---truly giving it to him.  Understand that He is where your strength came from.  God created us in His image.  The human body is a beautiful creation. Give Him the Glory.   Praise the creator, not the creation. (Read Romans 1:25)

Beauty can be vain.  It shows in many areas of the fitness world where there is no sign of God truly being praised for His magnificent creation.  It's a challenge to remember to give Glory to God, even on "Flex Friday!"  As humans, we all will naturally be inclined to vanity.  Vanity can deceive you.  It can deter you from keeping your eyes truly on Christ and your purpose as a Christian, to bring glory to God.

So how then, do we as Christians, stay clear of vanity when it comes to fitness and strength?   I'm not going to give you a list of "Do's and Don'ts."  Just examine your heart continually.  When you are posting that photo on Instagram, ask yourself, "Why?"  Is it because we know that certain kind of photo will gain followers?  Is it because we desire to bring glory to the One Who Made Us strong?  When you decide to join a competition, is it to reveal in your own strength, or His?  I"m not going to say it's wrong to post photos of yourself flexing, but there is a difference between posting modestly to encourage others verses posting photos that only your husband should see.  

What encouragement can we get from these passages?  There certainly is a balance.  The purpose of our strength should not be solely for showing off muscles.  It shouldn't be to show off our body.  That kind of beauty can be vain because we are not bring glory to our Creator, but the creation.  But, strength is a good thing!  Go ahead!  Do those deadlifts!  Run that 5k!  Do those handstands!  Gain strength and take the glory to our Mighty Creator who created such potentially strong and functional bodies!  

This way, if your car breaks down, you can push it to the curb!  If your freezer needs to be defrosted, you can roll it outside.  If your four year old needs a nap in the middle of Pike's Place Market, you can hold his dead weight of 40lbs for an hour.  You can go for an early morning run, pack your kids up for a whole day of errands, return home, cook dinner, clean the kitchen, bathe the kids, and still survive.  This is functional fitness.  This is the kind of strength that brings glory to God and honestly shows what we were created for.  This is the kind of strength that helps us live functional and active lives for our families.  It goes so much deeper than flexed muscles.  Go ahead, dress yourself, prepare for action, and make your arms strong!

How to Be a Better Mom

Recognize that you are just a mess.  And so is almost every other mom.

I'm coming out of a busy, but wonderful week of coordinating VBS.  My house is a disaster area.  Toys are out of place.  Hampers are full.  Clean laundry awaits being put away (because that is the hardest part!).  I have stacks of curriculum to go through.  My desk is covered with piles of organized chaos.  Weeds with killer thorns have taken over half my garden and I can't seem to keep them under control myself.  My lawn needs to be mowed in the backyard.  My refrigerator needs to be cleaned.  Glaciers of ice have taken over the deep freezer in the garage.  Oh!  The garage!  We won't even go there...

With all this said, I have seen so many pins pinned and posts posted on how everyone does things just so cute, organized and creative.  "How to organize your homeschool room."  "How to organize your kitchen."  "10 steps to always have a clean home." "How to get perfect abs, butt, or arms." "How to conquer laundry once and for all."  "How to create the perfect routine."

All the pins and posts on how everyone is living their life perfectly can start to weigh on a woman.  The truth is, though, as moms, most of us are a hot mess, apart from the grace of God.  Or maybe I'm the only one who struggles with getting one area of her life "together" only for everything else to fall apart.  If I get all my workouts in the week, laundry starts to pile up.  If I spend more time with my kids outside of our home doing field trips and play dates, the dishes start to pile up.

Realize imperfection is okay.

I admit, since having kids, I am not the most organized person.  That may be an understatement.  I thrive on creativity.  I would rather make something cute and creative than clean my kitchen.  So, it is a challenge to me to ignore those beautiful posts on the most perfect, creative, absolutely beautiful ____(fill in the blank)____.  I'm on a few homeschool Facebook groups and in the last week everyone has been sharing their homeschool rooms.  I was glad to see another mother spoke up and basically said what I started thinking.  I am absolutely not there yet.  And that's okay.  I will get there by September 1st when I start school and my homeschool room won't look like the cover of  a magazine.  And that's okay.

Stay-at-home moms, homeschool moms, work-at-home moms, and working moms----MOMS!  Please, please, please, remember that you don't have to live up to those posts on Pinterest.  Your child doesn't have to have a cute chalkboard stating his/her name, grade, favorite book, and career choice every first and last day of school year.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but it certainly isn't necessary.

You don't have to have a clean house all the time.  Your kitchen doesn't have to be the picture of perfect organization all of the time.  Order, cuteness, and cleanliness are nice, but it doesn't make you any better of a person.  Being organized may help the day go by in a more orderly fashion, but if you feel pressure to get organized, but never can seem to, and it absolutely stresses you out, find a way to live in your organized chaos.  It's okay not to be organized all the time.

You don't have to have the perfect ____(fill in the desirable body part here)___.  You don't have to strictly follow any certain big name workout program or diet to a "T."  Don't feel the pressure to have flat abs and a perfectly round rump.  Or to restrict yourself from sugar or bread for months.  Just be healthy.  Do what works for you.  Don't make excuses.  Still challenge yourself, but if you fail, don't beat yourself up.   If you don't fit in a workout today, that is okay.  Workout tomorrow.  It's okay to fail. It will happen.  And that's where you learn to grow and persevere.

Now when it comes to being imperfect, we still must address laziness.  Or being distracted.  I am challenged by being distracted throughout my day by many unnecessary things (i.e. all those creative Facebook, Pinterest, or Instagram posts).  This makes me weary for unnecessary reasons, and then I feel my weary self start to feel a bit on the lazy side, perhaps discouraged by all the "perfection" out there.  Avoid laziness, but be mindful of weariness.

Realize your need for rest for your weary soul.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV)

And when you are weary, come to Jesus.  Pray for grace.  Pray for peace.  Pray for contentment.  Pray for perseverance, not perfection.   Pray.  Pray.  Pray.  I am constantly reminded how valuable prayer is.  It is a way we can remind ourselves and others that we are not in this alone.  We can stop and pray to the God of all the universe.  And, guess what, He hears His people's prayers!

Mothers, our burden can be so heavy.  Raising little people up can be such a difficult task, especially with the added pressures of all the cuteness and creativity bursting out of the seams of social media.  I admit, when I'm overwhelmed, I am tempted just to go on Pinterest and look at all the people who have it all together and wishfully hope that someday that would be me.   Instead of Pinterest, PRAY.  Pray for yourself and for other moms.  We all know we need prayer!

Realize you can't be a good mom apart from Christ. 

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins."

Romans 3:23-25 (ESV)

I love the verse above because it really is the Gospel in a nutshell.  We fall short of God's glory and perfection because of sin.  That is where Christ comes in and his sacrifice is the ultimate picture of perfect grace.

Now, I must apologize for the title of this post.  It's a little tongue-in-cheek.  I'm not really going to tell you how to become a better mom. I knew it may get your attention because the truth is we all want to be a better mom.  We all want to be better.  We can't be better apart from Christ.  And, even then, we will struggle with sin and imperfection.

NOTHING within ourselves can make us BETTER moms!  

But, there is good news!!!  Despite the imperfection we struggle with, Christ lived a perfect life, and died so we can be forgiven.   Once we embrace that, we can't be separated from God's love.  And that is the story of grace.  Perfect grace.  That is the truth I need to be reminded of daily.

Please know that there is nothing wrong with getting tips or hints for how to do things from the posts on social media, but if you find that they are burdening you, please try and back away from them.  You will benefit in knowing that Christ can take those burdens if you come to Him!

I hope this post encouraged you.  It was encouraging for me to write.  Do you struggle with the pressures of the creativity found on social media?  Please take rest in knowing that you can come to the God of all the universe and tell Him your struggles.  And He will listen.  Everyday.  All day long.

Dear Rolling Stone Magazine...

Dear Rolling Stone Magazine,

I admit, I was that mom... that mom who grabbed EVERY Rolling Stone Magazine out of the cash register newsstands in Target last week.  I brought it up to customer service and pointed out to the clerk the chest of the scantly-clad Kim Kardashian (who else?).  

Ms. Kardashian may as well have had her shirt off, because she was almost showing pretty much everything!  I told the clerk, "I have sons who I don't want seeing this!  And a daughter, for that matter, too!"  The clerk's eyes scanned the cover quickly and she sighed, "I am sooo sorry.  I agree, but we have people from the magazine companies who come and display these."  I just simply replied, "Then you don't need to display these where my children can see them!"

So, let me continue by saying that I don't care about Kim Kardashian and her gigantic chest.  In fact, I'm quite tired of seeing it.  I tire of seeing her and her barely dressed sisters who seem to care nothing about what influence they may be having on young boys and girls, men, and women, who have to walk past their face, chest, and backside plastered all over the news stands.  

We have to walk past those newsstands to check out.  We have no choice but to see those ridiculously sexualized photos on your magazines.  I agree---you aren't the only magazine that bares more than the average person wants to see.  BUT, I am calling on you because your cover for July 2015 issue was absolutely way too revealing to be out in the open where little eyes could see it.  Please care.  

Perhaps you could use some ideas on how to care about the little ones that may see sexualized material that may add to the pressure to become "sexy" too young.  I know that you most likely won't stop publishing barely dressed women on your covers.  After all, you've been doing it for decades.  

How about not allowing your magazine to be in the main cash register newsstands?  Or how about requiring your publication to be placed behind pocket shields?  Those are two very simple solutions.  

Perhaps you may not make as many sales, but, let me be clear.  You publishing media like that adds absolutely NOTHING of value to our society.  In fact, it adds to a huge epidemic of a sexually desensitized culture that is suffering and struggling with body image, porn, and torn relationships that are killed by the addiction to sexual images.  It adds to the pressure of teen girls feeling like they, too, have to show off their chests to be accepted by men.  

So, why not care about the little eyes that can see your highly sexualized publication?  I am aware that there are probably companies that distribute your magazine to Target and all the other stores.  CONTACT THEM.  Fix this problem.  

Rite-Aid has agreed to cover up Cosmopolitan magazines in their stores due to the National Center on Sexual Exploitation requesting that they did so.  Step up and add something of worth to our society.  A national organization fighting sexual exploitation shouldn't have to contact you to do something about this.  A concerned parent should be enough.  

Thank you.

~A Very Concerned Mother of 3 Young Children

P.S.  If you'd like to read more about the effects of media like yours on our society, you can read these posts.  

An Open Letter to Mothers Regarding Body Image
An Open Letter to Teen Girls and Young Women Regarding Body Image
An Open Letter to Men Regarding the Body Image of Women

6 Reasons Why You Should Hula Hoop

(For your convenience, this post may contain affiliate links)

I have peaked a bit of curiosity in many this past week since I got out my weighted hula hoop and starting hula hooping for the first time in my life.

I admit, it is kind of curious why a 31-year-old mother of three would start hula hooping.  There are plenty of good reasons.  But, for the sake of time, I'll just give you six!

1)  It's great aerobic exercise.  It takes a whole lot of controlled motion and breathing to keep that hoop going!  If you hoop for at least 10 minutes, you will feel the difference.  For the average women, it can burn up to 165 calories in 30 minutes, and for the average man, a whopping 200 calories in just 30 minutes!

2)  It engages and strengthens more than just your core.  When basic hula hooping, you must engage several parts of your body--- your, knees, hips, chest, and shoulders---to move in rhythm with your waist.  Your waist, of course has to be moving back and forth and all those body parts I just listed have to move a bit less, but in rhythm with your waist.  That may sound hard explained in words.  Deanne from HoopLovers gives a great video instruction here.  This is the video that after not being able to hula hoop all my life, I was able to do it the first time after seeing her explanation of how to do it!

3)  It's fun and can improve your mood!  I will be buying hula hoops for my kids this weekend (or perhaps attempting to make them!) so they can participate with me.  It gets those endorphins going while I just let that hoop go around and around and around!  Turn on some music for just 10 minutes and do some hula hooping, and, honestly, you really can't stay in a bad mood!

4)  It's cheaper than a tummy tuck and a whole lot more fun (and effective) than crunches.  Seriously, though, folks.  After just one use, my core seemed firmer.  With each use, I can do more continuous rotations of the hoop---I'm up to 1,243---but whose counting?  Remember, before I started using this larger, wide, weighted hoop, I couldn't keep it going for more than 2 rotations.  I feel stronger in a very short amount of time, and it is awesome!

5)  It's low impact and activates joints.  People of all ages can hula hoop!  There are several in the 50+ crowd who reviewed the same hoop that I have and were very pleased and surprised they could do it!  I've noticed that high-impact exercise like jogging makes my previous abdominal injury from surgery hurt, but due to this exercise being low impact, the injury doesn't hurt a bit.  It also is great for those with joint conditions, like arthritis, as it improves joint flexibility.

6)  The hoop has withstood the test of time.  The Egyptians used it to test agility in their hoop games. Native American, Tony White Cloud, made the hoop dance popular in the1930s when he would perform at public events, and then he went on to tour the United States and Europe with Gene Autry.  It clearly became popular in the 50s and again in the 80s, for good reason!  (Hooping.org)

After these amazing benefits of hula hooping have been listed, I'm sure you want to get a hula hoop, right?*  I was able to get mine from a garage sale, but they are also available on Amazon.  If you read my post on how to build your home gym frugally, you would know I always check garage sales and Craigslist for deals before going to Amazon.  Craigslist may even have them in your area.  I just checked my area on Craigslist and there were several Acu-Hoops for sale from $15-30 dollars.  They run from about $32-$45 dollars on Amazon.

*Here is a bit of a disclaimer on the weighted Acu-Hoop:  After your first or second use of the weighted hoop, you may experience bruising around your hips or waist.  This is normal.  It's almost like building up a callus on your finger with working with tools or learning how to play the guitar.  That bruising will go away.  If you find you are bruised and it hurts to hula hoop, wait at least two days and try again.  You'll find that it won't hurt and you'll bruise less and less until you don't bruise anymore.  It may take a week or two for this process to work out.  It is well worth it, though, to keep trying.  Again, the bruising is normal and will go away.  You can read several reviews on the subject on Amazon.

An Open Letter to Young Women and Teen Girls Regarding Body Image

I'm going to be up front with you here.  This is a series of letters of honest observation of the world around me, whether that be social media, mainstream media, big-stream stores, or the high school across the street from me.  It is not meant to condemn or offend, but perhaps open an honest conversation about the lack of modesty and what influences our view of what a woman should look like.

The other letters in this series:

An Open Letter to Mothers Regarding Body Image
An Open Letter to Men Regarding Women's Body Image

To Teenage Girls or Young Women:

I see a lot of you most days of the year.  We live directly across the street from a high school.  Not only that, it's only been about 12  years since I've been a teenager.  Now, bear with me.  I know that kind of makes me sound old, but I'm still too young to be your mother.  What do I see when I look at most teenage girls?  I see girls who are struggling with body image and modesty as a result of the pressures of the society that surrounds them.

When I was 14, I bought a skirt with my birthday money.  It was an awesome, mid-thigh length black skirt with a slit.  It made me look great, and even I thought so, despite being overly self conscious.  I brought it home to my parents and tried it on for them.  My mom shook her head in disapproval.  My dad agreed.  I [probably] stormed back to my room, upset.  But, they were on to something.  I wasn't an underdeveloped little girl anymore.  I had developed into a woman a couple years before and was still getting used to dressing myself modestly to not overly expose...things.  My grandma let the skirt down an inch, and sewed the slit up a bit, and I was allowed to wear it.

Was it worth the fight?  Was it worth my parents putting their foot down and not letting me wear the skirt without alteration?  Absolutely.  And I learned that very soon.  Everyday I would walk home from school and had to pass by a bunch of bee keepers to get to my neighborhood.  It was at that point, while wearing that altered skirt, that these 25-40-something-year-old men would whistle and yell out sexual comments to me for the first time and then every time I passed thereafter.  I would get nervous and walk fast, but nothing really helped.

It was in the skirt that a boy in my 9th grade health science class told me I looked "so sophisticated and sexy." He was the same boy that attempted to feel-me up in front of my teacher in 12th grade.  He did so successfully, and when I shoved him off me, I got scolded by the teacher who favored him. Oh!  The joys of public school!

Yes.  My parents were onto something.  It may have not been that skirt that sent that teenage boy into a 4-year fantasy about me, but it certainly helped him get there.  I remember my dad telling me that he was once a teenage boy and he knew how they think.  He was protecting me---as best he could.  

So, to those girls wearing those short skirts, cut off shorts, crop tops, low cut shirts, and other clothing items that show your "assets," please know that not only teenage boys but 25-40-something men may be looking at you.  Perhaps undressing you with their eyes.  Please know that you don't have to show your assets for men, or let's be more honest, boys, to be attracted to you.  You don't have to look like that Victoria Secret model or even Ariana Grande to attract anyone.  YOU DON'T HAVE TO!  Anyone who truly is attracted to ALL OF YOU would not require you to dress with your bum hanging out your shorts.

"You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

You are worth so much more than just your bodies.  There is worth in your entire being.  God created you to have a body and soul.  You only have one body and one soul.  He made you unique.  You are the only one just like you.  Preserve that. You can preserve both your body and soul by not giving into immodesty and sexual lusts.

It may be hard, and somewhat impossible to do that perfectly.   We are broken and in need of a Savior to cover our brokenness and shame. When we see our sin, when we see how vulnerable we are to sin, and our need for a Savior from that sin, we see pricelessness in the Grace of God.  That heart of thankfulness then desires to please God and follow Christ.   This is something that we strive to do everyday.  We will fail, but we strive anyway, knowing that Christ is where our strength lies.  This is why it is important to be modest.  Your body is meant for more than just the sexual attraction of men!  It is so much more than that!

Showing off your chest, your stomach, your legs, or your butt is like advertisement to the wrong kind of men.  If you believe that your body is for a bigger purpose than sexually attracting boys or men, do you really want the first thing a boy to see is your butt hanging out of that bikini?  If you are ok with that, do you really think he can pay attention to any meaningful conversation you are having with him while wearing that bikini?  Let's be honest.  Probably not.

Source: fightthenewdrug.org

Let's also consider where a lot of boys and men unfortunately get their influence of what women should look like.  Porn.  And if not porn, soft porn.  Or perhaps those Victoria Secret catalogs that come in the mail for their moms.  Or the way J. Lo looks on stage.  Or all those photos of women with the breast enhancements on Instagram.  They are hard to miss!  It is so easy to access.  It could get into boys' hands at a very young age.

I know boys who became men, tried to hold down a marriage, and couldn't because of their early exposure to Pornography.  Yes, girls, it's THAT BAD.  It shapes the illegal Sex Trafficking industry in not only foreign countries but our own country.  Girls are held captive, bought, sold, and abused because these men view woman as objects, not people with souls.

Now, I'm not saying all men are like this, but I will go to say most men have struggled with a few too many clicks of the mouse in the direction of porn.  Believe me, you would much rather have a man who perhaps has struggled with porn, hates it for what it is, and fights against it, than one who is shaped by it and has completely given into it (Source: Wiley Online Library).  You are more likely to attract the later if you are dressed in a way that exposes too much.

With all that said.  Please, check yourself.  Why are you wearing the shirt with the arm holes so large that it shows your entire lace bra?  Why are you wearing shorts so short that your cheeks show? Is it because you respect your body?  Or is it because that is what you feel is normal...what is expected of you?

 Society's view of how you should look can start to shape your view of yourself and your body. If that is what you feel is normal, break the mold.  It may be hard to walk into a  store and find longer shorts, but let me tell you, it's possible.  I do it.  There are plenty of other women who do it.  And, perhaps if more young women stop buying the short, booty-exposing shorts, companies may get the hint and stop making as many.

Don't expect boys to respect your body if you don't.  Respect your body and you may just attract those who respect you for who you really are.

Sincerely,

A Girl Who Became A Woman

Check back on Monday for the last letter in this series, a letter to Men regarding the body image of women!