She Dresses Herself with Strength

How many have read Proverbs 31 and have been inspired by the woman who has become one of the main role models for Christian women?  I have.  Although, I would have to admit, I also become intimidated by all the things she does. I have to remember I can't do anything without the strength of God.  I must remember that I will fail no matter how hard I try, but God gives grace, and I must give myself grace too.

With that in mind, I'm going to focus on the two verses that jumped off the pages this morning as I was reading Proverbs 31.  The other day, while considering moving a full sized deep freezer on my own, I realized that I have the physical strength to do that, and I was reminded of the purpose of strength and how easily swayed we are from that due to vanity.

The first verse that jumped out at me in Proverbs 31 was in the middle of the passage explaining the woman's physical work that she did for her family.  Proverbs 31:17 says,

"She dresses herself with strength

and makes her arms strong."(ESV)

In context, the passage is speaking of this women, this wife, buying fields and planting them.  When it says "dresses herself" it actually is referring to "girding her loins," which is what they had to do to prepare for physical activity.  They wore long robes and had to tie them up.  This supports the view of getting fit for the purpose of functional fitness---being able to have to strength to carry out everyday activity.  And, if you need to move a freezer or a wood pile, you have the strength to do that as well.  This is actually quite inspiring!  The value of a woman's strength is in the Bible!  It is good for a woman to be strong.  It is good for her to have strength to do the things she needs to do in order to take care of her family and household!  

Contrary to this functional fitness, I see a lot of woman who seem to be fit for vanity's sake.   Proverbs 31:30 says, 

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." (ESV)

What exactly is vanity?  The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as, "the quality of people who have too much pride in their own appearance, abilities, achievements, etc. : the quality of being vain."How can we take pride in our strength, yet not become vain?  The answer is simply giving the glory to God---truly giving it to him.  Understand that He is where your strength came from.  God created us in His image.  The human body is a beautiful creation. Give Him the Glory.   Praise the creator, not the creation. (Read Romans 1:25)

Beauty can be vain.  It shows in many areas of the fitness world where there is no sign of God truly being praised for His magnificent creation.  It's a challenge to remember to give Glory to God, even on "Flex Friday!"  As humans, we all will naturally be inclined to vanity.  Vanity can deceive you.  It can deter you from keeping your eyes truly on Christ and your purpose as a Christian, to bring glory to God.

So how then, do we as Christians, stay clear of vanity when it comes to fitness and strength?   I'm not going to give you a list of "Do's and Don'ts."  Just examine your heart continually.  When you are posting that photo on Instagram, ask yourself, "Why?"  Is it because we know that certain kind of photo will gain followers?  Is it because we desire to bring glory to the One Who Made Us strong?  When you decide to join a competition, is it to reveal in your own strength, or His?  I"m not going to say it's wrong to post photos of yourself flexing, but there is a difference between posting modestly to encourage others verses posting photos that only your husband should see.  

What encouragement can we get from these passages?  There certainly is a balance.  The purpose of our strength should not be solely for showing off muscles.  It shouldn't be to show off our body.  That kind of beauty can be vain because we are not bring glory to our Creator, but the creation.  But, strength is a good thing!  Go ahead!  Do those deadlifts!  Run that 5k!  Do those handstands!  Gain strength and take the glory to our Mighty Creator who created such potentially strong and functional bodies!  

This way, if your car breaks down, you can push it to the curb!  If your freezer needs to be defrosted, you can roll it outside.  If your four year old needs a nap in the middle of Pike's Place Market, you can hold his dead weight of 40lbs for an hour.  You can go for an early morning run, pack your kids up for a whole day of errands, return home, cook dinner, clean the kitchen, bathe the kids, and still survive.  This is functional fitness.  This is the kind of strength that brings glory to God and honestly shows what we were created for.  This is the kind of strength that helps us live functional and active lives for our families.  It goes so much deeper than flexed muscles.  Go ahead, dress yourself, prepare for action, and make your arms strong!

An Open Letter to Young Women and Teen Girls Regarding Body Image

I'm going to be up front with you here.  This is a series of letters of honest observation of the world around me, whether that be social media, mainstream media, big-stream stores, or the high school across the street from me.  It is not meant to condemn or offend, but perhaps open an honest conversation about the lack of modesty and what influences our view of what a woman should look like.

The other letters in this series:

An Open Letter to Mothers Regarding Body Image
An Open Letter to Men Regarding Women's Body Image

To Teenage Girls or Young Women:

I see a lot of you most days of the year.  We live directly across the street from a high school.  Not only that, it's only been about 12  years since I've been a teenager.  Now, bear with me.  I know that kind of makes me sound old, but I'm still too young to be your mother.  What do I see when I look at most teenage girls?  I see girls who are struggling with body image and modesty as a result of the pressures of the society that surrounds them.

When I was 14, I bought a skirt with my birthday money.  It was an awesome, mid-thigh length black skirt with a slit.  It made me look great, and even I thought so, despite being overly self conscious.  I brought it home to my parents and tried it on for them.  My mom shook her head in disapproval.  My dad agreed.  I [probably] stormed back to my room, upset.  But, they were on to something.  I wasn't an underdeveloped little girl anymore.  I had developed into a woman a couple years before and was still getting used to dressing myself modestly to not overly expose...things.  My grandma let the skirt down an inch, and sewed the slit up a bit, and I was allowed to wear it.

Was it worth the fight?  Was it worth my parents putting their foot down and not letting me wear the skirt without alteration?  Absolutely.  And I learned that very soon.  Everyday I would walk home from school and had to pass by a bunch of bee keepers to get to my neighborhood.  It was at that point, while wearing that altered skirt, that these 25-40-something-year-old men would whistle and yell out sexual comments to me for the first time and then every time I passed thereafter.  I would get nervous and walk fast, but nothing really helped.

It was in the skirt that a boy in my 9th grade health science class told me I looked "so sophisticated and sexy." He was the same boy that attempted to feel-me up in front of my teacher in 12th grade.  He did so successfully, and when I shoved him off me, I got scolded by the teacher who favored him. Oh!  The joys of public school!

Yes.  My parents were onto something.  It may have not been that skirt that sent that teenage boy into a 4-year fantasy about me, but it certainly helped him get there.  I remember my dad telling me that he was once a teenage boy and he knew how they think.  He was protecting me---as best he could.  

So, to those girls wearing those short skirts, cut off shorts, crop tops, low cut shirts, and other clothing items that show your "assets," please know that not only teenage boys but 25-40-something men may be looking at you.  Perhaps undressing you with their eyes.  Please know that you don't have to show your assets for men, or let's be more honest, boys, to be attracted to you.  You don't have to look like that Victoria Secret model or even Ariana Grande to attract anyone.  YOU DON'T HAVE TO!  Anyone who truly is attracted to ALL OF YOU would not require you to dress with your bum hanging out your shorts.

"You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

You are worth so much more than just your bodies.  There is worth in your entire being.  God created you to have a body and soul.  You only have one body and one soul.  He made you unique.  You are the only one just like you.  Preserve that. You can preserve both your body and soul by not giving into immodesty and sexual lusts.

It may be hard, and somewhat impossible to do that perfectly.   We are broken and in need of a Savior to cover our brokenness and shame. When we see our sin, when we see how vulnerable we are to sin, and our need for a Savior from that sin, we see pricelessness in the Grace of God.  That heart of thankfulness then desires to please God and follow Christ.   This is something that we strive to do everyday.  We will fail, but we strive anyway, knowing that Christ is where our strength lies.  This is why it is important to be modest.  Your body is meant for more than just the sexual attraction of men!  It is so much more than that!

Showing off your chest, your stomach, your legs, or your butt is like advertisement to the wrong kind of men.  If you believe that your body is for a bigger purpose than sexually attracting boys or men, do you really want the first thing a boy to see is your butt hanging out of that bikini?  If you are ok with that, do you really think he can pay attention to any meaningful conversation you are having with him while wearing that bikini?  Let's be honest.  Probably not.

Source: fightthenewdrug.org

Let's also consider where a lot of boys and men unfortunately get their influence of what women should look like.  Porn.  And if not porn, soft porn.  Or perhaps those Victoria Secret catalogs that come in the mail for their moms.  Or the way J. Lo looks on stage.  Or all those photos of women with the breast enhancements on Instagram.  They are hard to miss!  It is so easy to access.  It could get into boys' hands at a very young age.

I know boys who became men, tried to hold down a marriage, and couldn't because of their early exposure to Pornography.  Yes, girls, it's THAT BAD.  It shapes the illegal Sex Trafficking industry in not only foreign countries but our own country.  Girls are held captive, bought, sold, and abused because these men view woman as objects, not people with souls.

Now, I'm not saying all men are like this, but I will go to say most men have struggled with a few too many clicks of the mouse in the direction of porn.  Believe me, you would much rather have a man who perhaps has struggled with porn, hates it for what it is, and fights against it, than one who is shaped by it and has completely given into it (Source: Wiley Online Library).  You are more likely to attract the later if you are dressed in a way that exposes too much.

With all that said.  Please, check yourself.  Why are you wearing the shirt with the arm holes so large that it shows your entire lace bra?  Why are you wearing shorts so short that your cheeks show? Is it because you respect your body?  Or is it because that is what you feel is normal...what is expected of you?

 Society's view of how you should look can start to shape your view of yourself and your body. If that is what you feel is normal, break the mold.  It may be hard to walk into a  store and find longer shorts, but let me tell you, it's possible.  I do it.  There are plenty of other women who do it.  And, perhaps if more young women stop buying the short, booty-exposing shorts, companies may get the hint and stop making as many.

Don't expect boys to respect your body if you don't.  Respect your body and you may just attract those who respect you for who you really are.

Sincerely,

A Girl Who Became A Woman

Check back on Monday for the last letter in this series, a letter to Men regarding the body image of women!

An Open Letter to Mothers Regarding Body Image

I'm going to be up front with you here.  This is a series of letters of honest observation of the world around me, whether that be social media, mainstream media, big-stream stores, or the high school across the street from me.  It is not meant to condemn or offend, but perhaps open an honest conversation about the lack of modesty and what influences our view of what a woman should look like.

Other Letters in this Series:

An Open Letter to Young Women and Teen Girls Regarding Body Image
An Open Letter to Men Regarding Women's Body Image

To The Mother Who Struggles With Her After Baby Body:

(and those into fitness, trying to get your body back...or better...)

I know the struggle.  I know the insecurities, the shock, the disbelief.  WHAT in the world has happened to your body?  And how come Brooke Burke can look so amazing after 4 kids???  We all know the answers to those questions.  Nine (actually 10 for most) months of hormones going haywire to support the growth, birth, and breastfeeding of a little, precious person.  It may look like your chest has dropped into your stomach.  If you've lost your baby weight, your chest may have disappeared and gone into your biceps.  Or perhaps you are back to your pre-baby weight, but, due to one or multiple c-sections, you have that extra skin and fat that have taken residence on your lower abdomen. Things may look bleak in regards to your after-baby-body.  But, there is good news!  You don't have to identify yourself with how society all around you thinks you should look.

Pregnancy wreaked havoc on my body, inside and out, all the way to my liver not being able to handle my last two pregnancies well.  I am thankful to be alive!  I am also thankful for my health after pregnancies and the fact that even though my body isn't the same as before babies, I AM HEALTHY!  I'm stronger than before, in every way.  I am truly thankful.

Please know this:  You do NOT have to be the same as before kids.   An article on the Baby Center website states that men who were shown sketches of women and asked which ones were ideal, often pick the bigger body sizes than what women think is ideal for themselves.  Your husband or [insert label here] should love you just the way you are.  They should love you for making an effort to take care of yourself and your child(ren).  They can encourage you to get fit, but shouldn't encourage to change your body in anyway.  Stretch marks are ok, in fact they are common and normal.

Model Chrissy Teigen set off a viral hashtag after she posted an honest picture of stretch marks on her thighs.  Thousands of women followed suit in posting their honest, mostly unedited photos of their stretch marks.   Just like stretch marks, that extra skin above your c-section scar, you can accept as normal.  You don't need to replace the chest you lost in breastfeeding your babies with a DD piece of silicon.  You don't need that to feel good about yourself!

I know how it feels to go through all those body changes listed above.  I've been there.  I've gained 60 pounds twice in my life and lost more than that twice.  I gave birth to three kids in three and a half years.  I breastfed all of them, struggled with one, and had to give that up for formula feeding after he didn't gain weight because I stopped producing milk.  I know the struggle of balance of "Who am I as a mother?  Who am I as a wife....as a woman?"

It's been over three years since I stopped breastfeeding my youngest.  I can tell you my body is still changing.  For the better.  It's taken a while, but I have accepted what I have left.  It took prayer.  It took knowing that this body was not my own in the first place, but God's who gave it to me.  It took that no matter how anyone else saw me in this world, no matter how far I was from what a woman "should be,"  God saw me as a precious daughter.  HIS precious daughter.  And because His Son died for all my imperfections, God sees me perfectly.  Without blemishes, spots, or lines.

Thankfully, I have a supportive husband, who has gone with me through all these body changes and has supported me, no matter what my bra size is.  That sounds harsh, but I know there are some husbands who "prefer" their wives to be a certain size.  I have a whole message for them, so just wait!    Your chest size, no matter what it is after baby, is just fine.  Unless it is causing medical issues (back problems), is their really a good reason to change it?  If you identify yourself by your chest size, please ask yourself where that image comes from.  Does it come from where you used to be, or perhaps from what other women in mainstream media or social look like?

Source: fightthenewdrug.org

As a fitness blogger, I see SO many women in the fitness industry who get work done on their bodies.  Most of this work is breast enhancements.  I came across a photo yesterday of a women who "liked" a photo of mine.  I clicked on her account only to have my iPhone screen fill with photos of her in tight, low cut tank tops and sports bras to show off her perfect round and plump breast enhancement.  THAT is not what REAL women look like!  And the response to these photos?  On average, 2,600 likes and 85 comments of men who were enthralled with her chest in a creepy, not-so-romantic way.

WOMEN!  Don't settle for changing your body to be accepted by men!  Accept your after-baby body knowing that their is always room for fitness and improvement, but if that means having muscles covered in a little fat here and there, loose skin, stretch marks, and a chest that isn't the same as before, THAT IS OK!  You have done amazing things with that body!  You have grown a person in that body, gave birth, and have kept that person alive!  That is incredible.

Strive for health, not for being that fit women on Instagram with the boob job.  She's paid more than just money to look that way.  I'm not saying every addition, subtraction or change to your body through surgery is wrong, but please consider why you desire for the change.  Strive to be an example to your children of what a real woman is.  Don't feel the pressure to be like Brooke Burke or J. Lo.  Most celebrities are paid to look good, but most women I know don't have that luxury.

Mothers, you are fine just the way you are.  In fact, you are beautiful.  You are unique creation of God.  There is no one else just like you.  We find our beauty because we are created in the image of God, but because of sin, we are broken.  That brokenness can skew our view of our own bodies.  But, for those who surrender their lives to Christ, who paid the price of death for our imperfections and sin, we can know that our bodies are made for more than just man.  They are made for God.  They are His own.  They are made to bring Him glory.  What an awesome purpose for our body!  So, no matter your pant size, your stretch marks, or your insecurities of what your weight should be, if you are a daughter of God, He sees you as perfect.

" You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. 

So glorify God in your body."

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV

Sincerely,

A Woman who Became a Mother

P.S.  Please don't take your children, male or female, into Victoria Secret with you.  Have them sit with their dad or someone else you know somewhere outside of the store.  Research shows the photos in the windows and displayed all over the store can start to shape in their minds what a woman should look like.  And it is just lies.  Blatant lies.  Protect your children.  Don't pretend it can't effect them at an early age.  I know.  My 5 year old daughter just asked me why her stomach isn't flat.  They look.  They observe.  They see.  Please be mindful of that.  Don't let your children sit on the floor of Victoria Secret while you shop for underwear.  I observed this situation last week and it broke my heart.